Time

"Oh, we have time, I think.
--till there's no time left."

I don't believe we are the only species aware of our mortality. We're just the ones who make the biggest fuss about it. Living, not dying; awake, not sleeping; active, never inactive: there is an obsession these days to maximize our time doing and cut everything else out. The march moves faster now than it ever has in the past. Are we better for it?

When I was younger my mother chide me for eating slowly, walking slowly, getting in the car slowly. She said I was on "Connor time". I feel just fine about this. Connor time is the only time I have worth spending. Everyone has his own time, his own frequency. It's what we call metabolism. And I know damn well that I'm not going to force myself into anyone else's time. Especially not "corporate time" or "yolo time".

We've talked a few times now about not wasting time and despising those who do. I agree with this on a certain level. Yes, I strive to make something of my day, my week, my year, my life. The days I find myself cramming my hours and minutes full of intent, though, are the worst I've ever spent. They leave me feeling burnt out, and I fear this much more than idleness.

The human brain isn't meant to work sixteen hours without rest, despite what the modern workforce would have one believe. As a nation, we're more productive than ever before. But are we happier for it? Even those of us who ask the "big questions" feel the strain of wondering too much and resting too little. As Frye puts it in the last chapter of The Secular Scripture: God's greatest act is that of the Sabboth. It is the sitting back and admiring one's work. It is rest and recuperation.

Appropriate song lyrics:

"Slow down Jo
Anybody ever tell you that you move too fast?
Anybody ever tell you how to make a good thing last?
'Cause it ain’t like that

First you gotta slow down Jo.
Last night I was talking to some friends of mine.
A.J.’s afraid you’re gonna kill your time or lose your mind.

If you don’t slow down Jo.
Anybody ever tell you if you lose the knack.
Anybody ever tell you that it’s true
You can get it back?
But not like that

It ain’t by kicking down the walls or pissing off your friends.
Every time the cards don’t fall your way.
It ain’t by poking out your eyes when you see something you don’t like.
Even your mama said she don’t want to see you spent at twenty-five,
So come on Jo stay alive"

"Slow Down Jo" by Monsters of Folk